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  "How can you not think this is related to Josh and Courtney's murder?"

  "Let's just forget that for a minute. Get off your arse and get in my car!"

  Blake and I arrived at the hospital forty-five minutes later and walked the deserted corridor looking for Ward F where Eloise had informed me Pete was. "When we get there I think I should wait outside. You okay with that?"

  Blake raised an eyebrow. "I don't need you to hold my hand."

  "'Course you don't," I replied sarcastically. "Why do you think anything I do for you is me treating you like a child? I want to be there for you too. There are no ulterior motives and I'm not doing it to get anything in return. That's just what friends do."

  "Again with the friend thing. You really do like me, don't you?" He said it as a joke, but under the teasing I could tell he was genuinely asking. I don't think there were many people in his life that actually knew him and cared about him. I wished I could meet some of his friends and see what they were like. Distant from each other. Only hanging around together because of mutual interests - drinking - and not a lot else probably.

  I smiled. "Yep, you're stuck with me."

  We arrived at the ward, and I rang the intercom. As soon as I mentioned Pete's nephew was here we were told to come straight in. That didn't seem good to me, like they wanted to get his family in quick to say goodbye before the inevitable.

  Blake held the door open as it clicked unlocked. I walked through and turned around, smirking. "Be careful, you're turning into a gentleman."

  His blue eyes glared. "Next time I'm gonna let it hit your arse."

  "Sure you will. Go ahead, I'll wait in there," I said, nodding towards the door with 'Waiting Room' above it in black stuck on letters.

  "You really don't want to come with?"

  "Blake, your family will be glad you came. You know how Pete feels about me; there's no way he would want me there. I'll be right here, and we can leave whenever you want." He opened his mouth, and I slapped my palm over it, sensing what he was about to say. "After you've seen your uncle."

  I waited until Blake entered Pete's room and went into the small waiting room. One wall was lined with blue fabric chairs, and the other had a long wooden counter, exactly what you'd expect. There were tea and coffee making facilities, but I figured those were for family of patients to use, so I stuck fifty pence in the vending machine for a crappy plastic cup of coffee.

  I sat down and pulled a Woman's Weekly magazine onto my lap. I wasn't sure how long Blake would stay, but I didn't think it would be that long. As much as I wanted my bed, I wanted Blake to stay more. He needed to connect with the family that were still practically strangers to him. The only family he really had was his dad and paternal grandparents.

  Being the only person in the waiting room and with no other distraction, my mind wandered to what Blake had said. Was the person who hurt Pete the same one that killed Courtney and Josh? Blake thought it was Kyle, but I couldn't see any of them hitting someone over the head with a baseball bat any more than I could see them stabbing two of our friends.

  I kept coming back to the same conclusion: it wasn't any of them. I couldn't even force myself to imagine it was, not even to pretend. The image of one of them holding a knife in their hand, standing over Court and Josh's bloody bodies, refused to enter my mind. Blake was in a much better position, he didn't have any ties with any of them, he had a completely fresh way of looking at it.

  I had only just finished my pond-water coffee when Blake walked into the room. "Let's go," he said.

  "How is he?" I asked, standing up and throwing my empty cup in the bin.

  "Unconscious," he replied and walked back out of the room. I blinked hard, throwing the unread magazine down and scrambling after him.

  By the time I got home, it was just after midnight, and I was exhausted. Blake had barely said a word the whole way home, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I didn't see any of his family, but he told me they were in Pete's room. It didn't look good that they were all allowed to stay with him either. The only thing I had managed to get out of him was that his nan was glad he was there. I think they all were, but he expected the worst all the time.

  From what I could drag out of him I knew that Pete was in a critical condition. His brain was swollen and he was unresponsive. A machine was literally his lifeline. It looked really, really bad.

  I woke up with a moment of clarity. It was time to tell Wright my theory on Lawrence and let him decide what to do with it. We were getting nowhere. I had no idea what I was doing. I was a mess.

  I knew the blood wasn't his but Aaron had explained that. The blood now meant nothing. Pete had been hurt, and the police needed to start looking at Lawrence before something happened to anyone else.

  I got dressed and had breakfast with my parents, promising them all over again that I was okay. My parents were worriers and always had been. I visited the doctor and A&E for the most ridiculous things. As their only child, they went a little overboard.

  As soon as I finished eating I grabbed my keys and headed out to my car at the same time my parents headed off to work. I waved to them, rolling my eyes at the worry lines on my mum's forehead.

  My mobile rang as I drove to the police station. I saw Megan's name and felt ill. Was I ready to deal with her yet? I had to at some point I suppose. "Hi," I said and put her on hands free so I could drive at the same time.

  "Hey, Kenzie, you okay?"

  "Yeah, you?"

  "I'm okay. Look, I think we all need to get together. I've not seen you all properly in ages, and you didn't make it the other night. Aaron and Kyle are coming to mine at seven tonight for pizza. We need to stick together and not continue to drift apart. You in?"

  It all sounded so normal, like any other chilled evening. It all felt forced and fake now though. "Sure, I'm in. I'm driving so I've gotta go, but I'll see you later."

  "Alright. Bye."

  "Bye." I ended the call and pulled into the car park next to the police station. To my right was Aaron's car. I got out and saw him and Kyle walking towards me.

  "Hey," Kyle said, giving me a hug.

  I hugged him back briefly and pulled away. "Hey."

  "You've been called in, too, huh?" Aaron asked, rolling his eyes.

  Called in? "Yeah," I replied, not wanting to get into what I was really doing. If I asked Aaron what it was about he might question why I didn't know. Probably about Pete anyway.

  "You at Megan's later?"

  "Yeah, I'll see you there."

  "Cool," Aaron replied, nodding and opening the car door. Kyle got in the passenger side and started messing around on his phone. Everything they did now made me think there could be more to it. Knowing Kyle he was probably just playing on some crappy app he just downloaded. They both gave me an effortless wave as Aaron backed out of the space and drove off.

  I was just about to walk into the police station, still intent on telling Wright about Lawrence, when I saw him and Blake just outside the station's front doors. Blake was here too? I took a few steps closer so I could hear what they were saying.

  "Yes...very colourful indeed," Wright said, raising one of his dark eyebrows. What was colourful?

  I couldn't see Blake because his back was to me, but I could picture his bored expression. "Colourful doesn't make you a killer. What you're looking for is psychotic." Blake was 'colourful'? Why?

  Wright shrugged. "Perhaps not and perhaps you're not the killer. Your past doesn't prove you murdered your brother and his girlfriend. It did, however, make very interesting reading. I thank you for that; you saved me from a dull evening in alone." He nodded once and went back inside the station. It came as no surprise to learn Wright was single.

  Blake turned and walked towards the car park. He still hadn't seen me. What had he been hiding? I supposed it wasn't really hiding with him. We barely knew each other.

  "Hey," I shouted and started running after him.

  He turned his head to loo
k at me briefly and carried on. "What are you doing here, Mackenzie?"

  "What did he mean?" I asked, jogging to keep up with him.

  Blake's eyebrows pulled together in a deep frown. "Nothing," he muttered.

  "Bullshit!" I grabbed the top of his arm and pulled.

  He spun around, almost knocking into me. "What do you want? You're all over the place, running around trying to solve a murder. I. Didn't. Kill. Them," he said slowly. There was no need for him to say that, I hadn't asked. Was it because of whatever Wright had dug up that he was asking?

  "I believe you." He looked into my eyes, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not. "I believe you, Blake."

  "Then drop it."

  Turning around, he walked towards his truck. Not so fast! I followed, keeping up but keeping a small amount of distance. Whatever he was hiding I wanted to know. He had a police record for what?

  Blake unlocked the car, and I opened the passenger door, tugging on it hard to get the damn thing to open. "What the fuck are you doing?" he asked. He sounded bored, and it made me smile. "What?"

  "Get in the car, Blake." He sighed and got in. "Tell me."

  He arched his brow. "I'll tell you if you tell me something no one knows about you."

  "Is that what you always do? Deflect?"

  His face was a mystery; he'd put up the wall. He was so good at giving nothing away when he didn't want to. "If I'm going to tell you something only my dad knows, something that I'm not proud of, I want the same in return. It's your choice."

  "Fine." I chewed the inside of my mouth and looked out of the side window. I didn't want Blake to see me when I told him. My heart broke as I prepared to talk about it again for the first time since I was seventeen. Why was I about to tell him this? I gripped the sides of the chair. "Two years ago I had an abortion."

  I waited for him to say something, but he was silent. I went on, "I was just seventeen and so scared. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me a week before I found out and he turned... nasty. I couldn't tell my parents because they would be so disappointed. I didn't want them to hate me. I didn't tell anyone."

  "You did it by yourself?"

  I nodded. "I booked an appointment at the clinic. I didn't even allow myself to think about it too much. I pretended I was going for a routine test. When I took that pill, I pretended it was paracetamol. When I felt the pains, I pretended they were period pains. The second I did it I hated myself. I still do. It was the biggest mistake of my life," I whispered, gulping, "and Josh was the only other person who knew."

  Chapter Fifteen

  "Josh knew? How?"

  I bit my lip as a scorching tear burned its way down my cheek. My heart felt as if it was breaking all over again. "He saw me leaving the clinic. I was a mess. I couldn't believe what I had just done. Josh was delivering leaflets from the printers or something. It didn't take him long to work out what had happened." I swallowed. My throat was on fire, and I fought to stay in control.

  "What did he do?"

  I pulled my legs up, wrapping my arms around them in a bid to protect myself from the conversation. "He blackmailed me," I replied. "It was nothing serious really, mostly things like making me step out of his way when he wanted to get with Courtney, making me pick him up in the middle of the night, give him money, false references for jobs he wanted, getting me to agree to things like going on trips, things that we usually would have avoided because we didn't like him."

  "Bastard," Blake muttered.

  "Every time I tried to convince Courtney he was an arsehole I pictured his face - that half smirk and one raised eyebrow, telling me he knew something I didn't want getting out." I took a deep breath. "I wanted Courtney to be free of him, but I couldn't let anyone know what I'd done. I hate myself for it."

  "Why didn't you tell your parents?"

  Blinking rapidly, I looked up to stop fresh tears from falling. "Because I'm ashamed and because it's my biggest regret. They would be so disappointed in me. I would do anything to go back in time and change it."

  Blake's hand stroked down my arm until he reached my hand. "You were young, Mackenzie."

  "So? I was old enough to have sex. I just wish I had thought it through before I made a snap decision. Now I have to live with it."

  "I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone and didn't feel you could turn to anyone."

  "I make such a big deal out of everyone else keeping secrets when mine is so..." I shook my head and pressed my forehead to my knees.

  "I put a man in hospital," he said.

  I looked up through my eyelashes. "What?"

  "When I was eighteen I was a bit of a fighter. Actually, I lived for it."

  "Why?"

  "I was angry."

  "About?"

  He smirked. "Man, you're nosy."

  I sat up and turned my body to face him. "Hey, I told you my biggest, darkest secret that no one else knows. Your turn now, remember?" He reached up and wiped a small tear from under my eye. I stopped breathing for a second. "What happened, Blake?"

  "I don't have a good relationship with my mum, you know that already." I nodded. "I was angry with her for not caring enough, and angry at her for loving Josh more. My dad worked a lot, so I was alone most of the time. I didn't have many friends, not real friends anyway. A group of us would hang out on the street, drink, and get into fights."

  "And you questioned our class for drinking in a park."

  The faintest smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "I never said what I did was classy. It was stupid. I was stupid. There was this guy mouthing off one night and I lost it. I can't even remember what he said, something stupid probably. Anyway, I went too far and when I was pulled off him, I realised why everyone was shouting so much. He was lying so still on the floor. There was a lot of blood." He stopped and frowned, remembering. "That was the last fight I got in."

  "Whoa." I blinked, shaking my head to absorb what he'd told me. "You were dumb, but I understand why you were like that."

  A ghost of a smile pulled at his lips. "No more psycho analysing me!"

  "I imagine Wright was having a field day with that."

  "Yeah. Although fighting and premeditated murder are two completely different things, I think I just got bumped to the top of his hit list."

  "I wouldn't go that far, Mr Harper." We both jumped at the sound of Wright's voice. I spun around and saw him leaning against the car beside Blake's. He was standing level with the back windows, just where we couldn't see him. "I think maybe we should have another little chat." Wright turned on his heel and walked back towards the station, so confident that we would follow.

  My heart spiked. "Shit, Blake!"

  He shook his head. "It's okay. It'll be fine."

  "But he's going to think I did it."

  "He already does." Blake rolled his eyes. "Mackenzie, anyone can see you're not a cold blooded killer. You're too weak for one. You can barely open my car door."

  "Shut up, it's stiff!" I shoved the door open - which was easy from inside - and got out. Blake followed me, laughing to himself. How could he be so calm? I was so sure he was going to arrest me the second I walked into the building.

  I heard my pulse throbbing in my ears as I stepped into the all too familiar station. Wright smiled and clicked his tongue. "Mackenzie, follow me." Blake's fingers brushed my arm as I walked. I wasn't sure why. Was his gesture to tell me it would be okay?

  I sat down in the small, boring magnolia coloured room. A black desk separated me from Wright. He closed the door and sat down. Leaning on the table he said, "You know the drill," and nodded to the tape recorder, which he flicked on, giving the date and my name. "So tell me about this blackmail."

  "It wasn't blackmail really. Josh never made me do anything. I just wasn't allowed to tell Courtney what he was really like."

  His bushy brow arched. "Which was?"

  "I've told you before."

  He shrugged. "Humour me."

  I sighed. Telling h
im what I said before now seemed like a bad idea, but I had no doubt that he remembered what I had said, so I had to repeat it. "Josh was selfish and thought everyone owed him something. I knew he would try to control Courtney. He did control her. She could do better than him."

  "But Josh didn't allow you to voice your opinion?"

  "Well... No, he didn't." I bowed my head. "In the end I told Courtney that if she liked him he couldn't be that bad, and it was her choice. I didn't want to, but I didn't want anyone to know that I had an abortion."

  "And that's why you killed him?"

  I gasped and sat up straight. I knew that was coming. "No!"

  "Josh was the only one who knew. He was the only one who could reveal your secret. With him out of your way, no one would ever know. His death has solved your problem, hasn't it?"

  "I didn't kill him, and if I did why would I kill Courtney? She was my best friend. I would never kill anyone over a secret. I swear."

  "Here's what I think happened," he said, and paused for a second to see if I was going to challenge him. "I think there was an altercation between you and Joshua and you lost control. Courtney witnessed it and to silence her you stabbed her, too."

  "No, that's not what happened. I didn't do it." I knew I should remain calm, but it was so hard to do when someone was accusing you of something you didn't do, something so cold and cruel.

  "Where were you yesterday at around eight at night?"

  "At home."

  "Was anyone else there?"

  "Blake was until about half ten and my parents were in all evening. I didn't hurt Pete."

  He held his hands up and smiled. "Just asking."

  "Blake was with you all night?"

  "Yeah."

  "The whole time?"

  "Yeah. Well..."

  Wright raised his eyebrow and leant forward. "Well?"

  "I mean he was in my house the whole time, but I wasn't with him." Wright stayed silent, waiting. "I went downstairs to make dinner and Blake stayed in my room, but he didn't leave the house."

  "How can you be sure of that?"

  "I would have seen him walk past the kitchen to get out."

  "Back door?"

  "That's the French doors off the living room, and my parents were watching black and white films all night. They would have seen him."

  "So there was no chance he could have snuck out and back in again?"