Second Chance Read online

  "I don't think we're ever getting rid of that girl." Mostly because I would never let her leave. Like a deranged stalker I would keep her in our lives.

  Mum smiled, seemingly satisfied by my answer. "Yes, good. Things were awful without her."

  I could barely remember, but when I was sober I know I'd missed her. Then I drank more because I felt even guiltier.

  Mum followed me back into the living room and sat in her chair by the window.

  "Back in the gym tomorrow, Chloe?" she asked.

  Chlo laughed. "Not a chance."

  I handed her the smoothie and received one of her heart-stopping smiles that I would do anything for. "Come on, you'll seize up if you don't continue."

  "Logan, my muscles feel like they're on fire. I can barely walk. The only exercise I'll be doing tomorrow is lifting the TV remote." She laughed then. "Okay, I sound like Jace."

  I loved that she could laugh when she spoke about him now. We all could. It was such a huge difference to crying, drinking, hiding, pretending it hadn't happened and screaming. We all dealt with it in different ways.

  "You do. You know every time you and Logan went on a run or to the gym he'd call you both crazy, grab a snack and sit down in front of the TV."

  "The little... He told me he was doing college work," Chloe said. "I should've known really."

  I kicked my feet up on the coffee table. "I think he was allergic to exercise. He should've been fat, eating junk all the time and laying around the house."

  "That was probably all down to Chloe," Mum said, wiggling her eyebrows.

  I tried to keep a straight face as my lunch came back up to meet my throat. It bothered me back then and it still did. She was always supposed to be with me and if I hadn't been such a dick trying to deny it I could've told Jace that I liked her and he never would have gone there. I didn't, so he did and then all I could do was keep my mouth shut and let my brother be happy.

  Chloe blushed and laughed along with Mum. I knew if I forced out a laugh it'd sound wrong so I kept quiet. He was my brother after all so I could get away with thinking that was gross.

  Dad hopped over the arm of the sofa and sat beside Mum. "Me and Daryl have been speaking and we'd like to do something for his birthday."

  The last two birthdays were hell. It'd be good to do something that would honour his memory.

  "That sounds really nice," Chlo said. "What were you thinking?"

  "London," she replied.

  I frowned. Why the fuck would we visit the city where he died for his birthday? Then I got it. "Right. The architecture." Mum nodded. Jace loved big, fancy buildings and wanted to do something in that line of work when he was older. It was also what killed him. If he hadn't been on that stupid fucking college trip he would still be here today.

  Chloe nodded. "He wanted to go for a week, do the tourist bit and take pictures of the architecture. We planned to go after uni."

  Mum reached over and squeezed her hand as if she expected Chlo to fall apart. She really was okay now. I was so fucking proud of how far she'd come and how she handled Jace's death.

  "We'll go for the weekend and do what he wanted. He mentioned a few places."

  "He has a list. We planned the trip quite thoroughly. Well, he did, I just wanted to go to Madam Tussauds and have a photo with David Beckham," Chlo said. "I have the list at home."

  I threw my arm over the back of the sofa. "I'm sure we can find time to take you to the creepy wax place." I'd actually love to take her there. There weren't many things I could do with her that she hadn't already done with Jace, especially as friends. I bet there was a whole load of things I could do with and to her that she hadn't done with him if we were more than friends.

  "Of course," Mum said, forcing me back to reality and away from the place in my mind where Chloe was handcuffed to my bed, naked. "We can go on the London Eye, too."

  Cassie walked into the room and snorted. "I'll wait for you guys at the bottom."

  Big fucking baby.

  "So you'll all come?" Mum asked. "I understand that it's an odd choice but I'd really like to do something that was important to him."

  We agreed, of course, and Mum started to tear up.

  "See, Julia, there was no way they wouldn't want to do this for him, too. You were fretting over nothing, love," Dad said, giving her a side hug.

  Yeah, it was going to be... great...?

  Chapter Five

  Logan

  "So we're cock blocking this Rhys guy?" Oliver asked, sitting on a stool in Sam's Bar and Grill where Chloe worked. I'd known Ollie since we were in high school and hit it off straight away, neither of us responded well to authority and we both hated pretty much every subject.

  "Not cock blocking," I replied.

  It was. I didn't just want to cock block I wanted to castrate. The thought of that prick anywhere near her made me fucking violent. Chlo wasn't mine, we weren't together, but in my heart she'd been mine since the second I laid eyes on her. Therefore, I wanted to be around to make sure he didn't come within three feet of her.

  He shoved his fingers though his dark hair, pushing it to the side over his even darker eyes. "Sure, man."

  "Shut up, Ollie," I snapped, earning a toothy grin from the twat.

  Chloe came from the back and leant on the other side of the bar. Her long chestnut hair was pulled back and messy. She wore her uniform shirt and never looked so pissing beautiful.

  "Thirsty?" she asked, tilting her head and smirking.

  I leant in a little closer. "Beer, please."

  She frowned. "Logan, it's quarter to ten in the morning. Take a seat. I'll bring you both coffee and a fry up."

  "You're the best, Chloe," Ollie said, pushing off the bar and heading for a table.

  "Where's this guy then?" I asked.

  "He'll be in at ten," she replied. "Be. Nice."

  Backing up, I made a cross over my heart. "Always." With one last look at her amber eyes, I followed Oliver to the table he'd picked.

  Ollie tapped his fingers on the table. "She's a good girl, huh?"

  I leant back in the chair, stretching my legs out. "Yeah." Me and Chlo had always go on. Jace was punching well above his weight but I was glad it was her because compared to the rough, bunny boiler thing he was with before, Chloe was a fucking diamond. We liked most of the same things. She was the girl version of me, only smarter, gorgeous and full of ridiculous, female, unpredictable hormones.

  "What's the story there, man? Don't give me this friend shit either."

  "We are friends."

  Ollie was hard to bullshit so I held eye contact and hoped the little bastard accepted my reply.

  He gave one lazy shrug of his shoulder. "As long as you're telling yourself the truth."

  Cocky wanker!

  Chloe picked the moment I almost reached over the table to punch Ollie to bring us coffee. "Thanks, Chlo," I said, making quick eye contact.

  "Yeah, thanks, Chlo," Ollie said.

  She looked up as someone walked through the door. The stupid smile on his ugly mug made me realise he was him. I knew of him but had never had a conversation past giving him my order. Had she already accepted a date? "That him?" I said.

  "Be nice," she replied.

  "I'm always nice."

  "Logan!"

  "I haven't done anything."

  Damn, she knew me well.

  Sighing, she straightened her back. "Your food will be about five minutes. Let me know if you want a refill."

  Ollie leant in the second she was gone. "What're you gonna do about the guy then?"

  "Nothing. Why would I do anything?"

  "Fucking hell, Logan, come on! I'm not stupid. You know how you feel, I know how you feel, you know I know how you feel."

  "I think I've got a headache."

  "Stop diverting. You like her."

  "She's Jace's girl."

  "Was, man. Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean for that to sound harsh but Jace is gone and you two are still here." />
  I rubbed my eyebrow. "Do you know how shitty of me that'd be?"

  "No. It'd be shitty if he was still here and you stole her away. What's happening here is nothing like that."

  "He's my brother." There were lines you just shouldn't cross and as much as I wanted her I couldn't go there.

  "I know who he is and I know how much he loved you and her. If you guys have a chance of being happy - and with a chick like that, man, whoa - he'd want that too."

  The logical part of me agreed. Jace was a good person, he wanted the people he loved to be happy, he never judged, but I couldn't help bringing it back to the sacred, unwritten guy rules: thou shall not screw a brother's girl.

  "Hmm," I muttered, hoping he'd change the subject.

  "You're a proper stubborn twat, Logan."

  "Cheers, mate."

  Sighing harshly, Ollie stuck his middle finger up. "You're being a dick. I don't understand why you don't just ask her out."

  "You had a recent head injury?"

  "C'mon, you know what I mean."

  "Okay. One, and I'm getting sick of saying this one now, she was with my brother. And two, I don't even know if she'd want to."

  "That's what's really bothering you. You know Jace would want it to be you. You're worried she'll turn you down and you'll be left eating ice cream from the tub and watching Pretty Woman."

  There wasn't much chance of that happening anyway; I was the pickle your liver type. "Fine. I don't want to hear her tell me she only sees me as a friend. I don't want to see the look of disgust in her eye when she realises her ex's brother wants her."

  "You're gonna die alone, man."

  "Chlo isn't the only woman in the world." That was a shit argument. She wasn't the only woman but the only one I wanted, so I was definitely headed for living alone with rats or snakes.

  He shrugged. "You can come to mine at Christmas."

  "I am not going to fucking die alone!"

  Chloe put two plates piled high with greasy food down on the table. "Why would you die alone?" she asked, grinning.

  "He's a whore," Ollie said.

  I wanted to shove him off the fucking seat. Was a whore.

  "He's changed," Chlo said. "Right?"

  I frowned. "Right." There was nothing I wanted less than to go back to being drunk constantly and screwing random women. I could deal with the guilt without needing something to take the edge off now.

  "See. He won't die alone and, anyway, I'd buy you cats if--"

  I lurched forwards and she jumped back laughing. "Kidding," she said, holding her hands up. "Eat your food before it gets cold or someone notices I put extra sausages and bacon on the plates."

  She left us to it and Ollie stared at me, one eyebrow raised in an obnoxious way that made me punch him. "What?" I growled.

  "She's the perfect woman. If you don't ask her out I will." He wouldn't and we both knew it. Still, I kicked him pretty hard under the table, making him laugh.

  Out of the corner of my eye I could see Chloe and Rhys talking at the bar. Laughing, she was laughing. He didn't look like he could do funny; he looked like a bit of a prick. Chlo arched forwards slightly, twisting her body to face him more. She was flirting. Why is she flirting?

  I was having a hard time keeping my food down. I understood that she was ready to move on and I was all for that, she deserved it, but I didn't like it one bit. As well as I knew it shouldn't be me she moved on with, I couldn't help wanting it with every fucking ounce of my being.

  "You're staring," Ollie said all too casually, between mouthfuls.

  "I was not staring." Shovelling another rasher of bacon in whole, I made myself concentrate on my food and Ollie. He would love it if looked over there again. I'd hoped that by ignoring them behind me I'd forget about it, but although I couldn't see them I knew they were there. Was he touching her hand? Her arm? Did she put her hand on his scrawny little chest?

  Even I was aware that I was stabbing my food as if it was alive and I had to murder it first but I was too pissed.

  Ollie's hand gripped my wrist. "You wanna calm the fuck down?"

  "No, I'm fine."

  "You're fine with her and him then?"

  I smiled tightly. "Of course."

  "That's good because he's kissing her."

  "Fuck," I hissed under my breath, snapping my head around so quick I pulled a muscle. My hands clenched with rage. How fucking dare he touch her?

  Only he wasn't. She'd disappeared somewhere out the back and he was taking money for drinks he'd just made.

  Behind me Ollie laughed, proud. "I'm going to rip your head off!"

  He laughed more.

  "Hey, at least now I know how much you like her."

  "I violently dislike you, you twat."

  "And you're a pussy. This is why we get on."

  "We don't get on," I said, taking a big gulp of my coffee. I was still wound pretty tightly after thinking she was kissing that guy. One day she was going to kiss someone else and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. I wanted to tell her how I felt but how could I be that person?

  "Excuse me," Ollie said, lifting a hand to the bar.

  "What're you doing?" I asked.

  His only reply was an unsettling smile just as date twat stopped at our table. If he said one thing about Chloe I was gong to strangle the fucker.

  "What can I help you with?" he asked. I had about a dozen answers for that question.

  "Could we get some more coffee, please?"

  Little prick.

  "Yeah, sure thing," he replied.

  "I've got it, Rhys," Chloe said, coffee pot in one hand and taking Ollie's mug with the other.

  I got the disgusting full force of them together, sides touching as he hadn't fucked off yet. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

  "So you've asked her out then?" I said.

  Chloe froze mid pour and her eyes widened. Yeah, it was my turn to be the prick. I hated myself the second the words left my mouth. I shouldn't be interfering with this. He might make her happy. All I'd ever wanted was to see her smiling and laughing. Well, that wasn't exactly true, I wanted to see her smile at me the way she used to at Jace.

  Date twat looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights for about five seconds and then he nodded. "Yeah, I have. Not got an answer yet, though." He turned to her and smiled.

  She was embarrassed and I was in trouble.

  Turning her attention to him, she smiled. "I know, sorry. I'd love to go out sometime."

  And just like that my heart felt as dead as the day I saw her first kissing my brother.

  Chapter Six

  Chloe

  Me and Cass walked into the gym and I said hello to a few of Logan's colleagues that I knew.

  "You really do come here a lot, don't you?" Cass said.

  I flexed the teeny, tiny almost non-existent muscles in my arms. "Yep."

  She smirked. "It doesn't seem to be doing anything."

  "I don't come to lift weights and bulk up, I do cardio to keep fit. Your brother is the one lifting stupidly heavy stuff."

  "I don't understand how he's not body builder big," she said.

  "Duh, because he's not a body builder." Logan was ripped and looked like he'd been carved from stone but he wasn't huge.

  Waving her hand, she pushed the main hall door open. "Whatever."

  Logan was standing by the spinning instructor, no doubt waiting for us. A few of the women that had already arrived were openly gawping at him. He saw us and a huge grin spread across his face. I'd done enough exercising recently for this not to kill but Cassie hadn't.

  He said something else to the woman with legs that went on forever and strolled towards us. "You ready for this?"

  "Yes," Cass replied, glaring at him.

  "Good. I'll be in today's class."

  I narrowed my eyes. "Why?"

  "Adele wanted help with the equipment."

  Glancing around the room, I pursed my lips, ready to fight back. "Looks like
the equipment is set up. Good job helping, now you won't be needed for another hour so why don't you go train someone or lift something heavy."

  "But then I'll miss you and my sister gasping for breath and cursing the bikes, sweetheart."

  "That's the point!" Cassie snapped, cutting in. "You're being a crap brother right now and you're meant to be the supportive one."

  Jace was supportive but I knew what she meant, Logan was a pusher whereas Jace sat back and said go for it from his gaming chair.

  "I'm here for support," he replied.

  "You're here to gloat, Logan." I pointed to the door. "Out."

  He pointed up to a camera in the corner of the room. "I'll be watching, ladies. Good luck, Cass."

  Without planning it me and Cassie slapped either arm as he walked past.

  "He is so my least favourite brother," she said.

  Smiling, I took my jacket off and chucked it behind one of the bikes. "That used to be the other way around."

  "Yeah, well, since Jace died Logan's taken it upon himself to make up for Jace's half of annoy the fuck outta Cassie. I swear if I have a boy first..." She stopped talking as she realised what she was about to say. The likeliness of Cass ever having a biological child was very slim. She had cysts on her ovaries and was told it was almost impossible for her to conceive naturally.

  "Hey, don't do that. You'll have a child one day."

  "Yeah, I will. And, hey, I can stroll into that adoption centre and pick out the least awkward looking ones from the cages." She cracked a smile.

  "Yep, I'm sure it happens just like rehoming a dog."

  She knew exactly how adoption - humans - worked. She had enough material and books on the subject. Before she found out about Rick cheating she was all ready to approach social services and get the ball rolling.

  The impossibly gorgeous and long legged woman - who introduced herself as Amy - started the class. Cassie, bless her, looked so confident as she climbed on the bike. She was kitted out in a long length t-shirt and leggings. I knew how physical it got so I wore a tank top and shorts. Cass was going to bake.

  It took all of seven minutes for Cassie to turn from stylish gym goer to hot, sweaty mess. Her hair was damp, sweat dripped down her face, she was beetroot red and breathing like she'd smoked fifty a day since she was nine.

  "What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Spinning," she huffed, wheezing so hard I was sure she'd pass out any second.

  My legs and lungs burned but I was nowhere near as bad as her.