After the End Page 9

  “You’re standing in a house your family owns,” Jack points out.

  “I’ve pretty much been a hermit for the last four years, but I’ve not saved enough to buy this house.”

  “That’s why they have mortgages, dumbarse,” Jack quips.

  “I’m not buying my parents’ house.” I can’t do that to Tilly and her family. “The best thing to do is for my parents to sell up and for me to leave. I miss hanging out with you guys, too, but that was another life.”

  “Well, who says your next life needs to be somewhere else? You could find a place here. Things will settle down,” Ian pushes.

  “Let’s not go there, Ian.”

  I have done that a thousand times over in my head. I’ve thought of scenarios where I get to stay and call this town my home again, but they’re just dreams.

  Ian sighs. “Have it your way.”

  “Come on, fuckers. Let’s go and eat,” Jack says, slapping my back.

  I chuck down my tool because I’m starving, and they’re not going to do any more work before I buy them lunch.

  As the only one of us who doesn’t drink alcohol, I’m also always the driver.

  “Is Tilly working today?” I ask as I pull into the car park at the restaurant.

  Her car isn’t here, but I know the staff can park around the back if there is space.

  Jack shrugs. “Hanna didn’t mention it, and she usually mentions everything.”

  “Well, that’s unhelpful,” I mutter, getting out of the car.

  “Mate, just chill out with this whole Tilly thing. You’re making it harder than it needs to be,” Ian says.

  He’s a twat, but he also has no idea, not really, so I don’t want to be too hard on him. Instead, I bite out a smile and follow them into the building.

  We sit down at a table in the corner that Jack picks because it’s in Hanna’s section, and I lean back against the chair, my back protesting the new position. Working solidly on the house the way I have been is taking its toll on my body. I want it done and over, but I’m damn near suffering for it.

  Hanna storms to the table. Jack almost stands up but notices her fierce expression and decides it’s safer to stay put.

  “What’s up, babe?” he asks as she stomps her foot as she stops by the table.

  “What are you three doing here?”

  “We’ve come for lunch. What’s wrong?”

  I spot the problem before Hanna has a chance to explain.

  “Tilly is here,” I mutter, my eyes glued to the beautiful blonde I would die for.

  “Yeah, Sasha called in sick, so she’s covering,” Hanna says.

  “Does she want us to go?” I ask, tearing my eyes away and looking at Hanna.

  She shakes her head. “No, but I’ll be serving you today. What drinks are you having?”

  “Isn’t this your area?” Jack asks.

  “I swapped because Tilly’s aunt and uncle were in an hour ago.” Her eyes pin me to my seat like I’m a naughty schoolboy. “Now, we’re swapping back.”

  Hanna takes our order and walks off before Jack can talk to her.

  “Fuck’s sake,” I groan. “I knew it would be hard, coming back, but I didn’t know I’d be constantly hurting her.”

  Jack and Ian look at each other again, deciding who’s going to tackle this one.

  Ian wins.

  Jack says, “You’re not. A lot of feelings are returning to the surface, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, Linc. If you and Tilly have a shot at being friends again, you need to go through this shitty part.”

  “She doesn’t want anything from me, except maybe for me to leave town.”

  Ian shakes his head, leaning over the table. “You’re wrong.”

  “You know that how?”

  Biting his lip, he looks away.

  “Ian?” I slap my hand on the table. “Talk.”

  “I overheard her talking to Mel. She doesn’t hate you; she just wants to. There is a big fucking difference, man. Don’t screw this up by letting her push you away. If anything good can come out of this, it’ll be you and Tilly being friends again.”

  We all miss those times. The six of us would hang out a couple of times a month, and I always enjoyed it more than being with any of my other friends. Tilly was so easy to talk to, and her smart mouth and love for life were infectious. She could be impulsive and sometimes reckless, but I loved every second with her.

  I would sell my soul to have just one night like the old times.

  “Let’s all plan something. A trip somewhere,” Jack says, sitting taller.

  “Where?” I ask, not at all convinced that this is a good idea.

  “Legoland,” Hanna says, throwing three menus down in the middle of the table.

  We all look up at the same time.

  “What, baby?” Jack asks.

  “You guys aren’t quiet. I could hear your conversation from the table I was waiting on. You want to reconnect with Tilly, Linc, and we all want our group back together even if it’s just for a while. The trip Tilly still talks about when she’s drunk is Legoland.”

  We went there when we were teens—Tilly and Mel sixteen, Hanna seventeen, and Jack, Ian, and I eighteen. We had so much fun.

  Jack lifts his eyebrow. “Doesn’t it seem a bit weird for six adults to go to Legoland?”

  Hanna shrugs. “When have any of us ever cared about how something looks?”

  “Fair point,” I say. “Do you think Tilly will want to go?”

  Hanna smiles. “Leave it with me. And hurry up and order. I’ll go grab your drinks.”

  I pick up the menu, but I can’t focus on anything. Tilly is behind the bar, making drinks and chatting with some guy. She laughs, and I instantly hate him.

  I fucking miss that laugh. I could have her in stitches within minutes. Now, she looks at me like I’ve robbed her of so much. If I could swap places with Robbie, I would. He should be here now. He was a damn good guy, and Tilly loved him.

  Tilly walks over with a tray and puts it on the table.

  I feel my heart thudding harder as she reaches across me to hand Jack his beer.

  Why is she waiting on us now?

  She takes a breath. “How are you guys?”

  “Good. How are you doing?” Jack asks.

  She gives him a small smile but doesn’t answer. “Are you ready to order? Ian, I assume you’re having the double cheeseburger?”

  “You know it,” he replies.

  What is going on? Hanna was serving us. Why is no one else mentioning this?

  She looks at Jack, and he orders.

  Then, her eyes flit to me, and she swallows. “Lincoln?”

  Okay, I’m Lincoln again today.

  “Same as Ian, please.”

  “You want normal fries or sweet potato?”

  I turn my nose up. “Definitely not that orange mush.”

  Tilly’s lip lifts in amusement so slightly at the side. “I don’t blame you; they’re disgusting. I’ll place your order. Shout if you need anything else.” She collects the menus and walks away.

  Am I Linc now that the frost has melted a little?

  “I think that went quite well,” Ian says.

  I deadpan, “In what universe did that go well?”

  “She didn’t throw your Coke at you, and she spoke to you nicely at the end.”

  “She called me Lincoln.”

  “That’s your name, dickhead,” Jack jokes.

  I reach to my side and thump him on the arm. “You’re an idiot. She uses my full name when I’m in the shit.”

  “You know there is a very fine line between love and hate,” Ian says. “Maybe she’s secretly, madly in love with you.”

  Fuck off. Don’t even joke.

  I shake my head, my stomach knotting tight, wishing his words were true but knowing it could never be.

  15

  Tilly

  “Want to tell me what that was about?” Hanna asks, leaning her hip against the wall in the
kitchen.

  She’s referring to me picking up the drinks and taking them to the guys’ table. I had to. Hanna had offered to swap sections again, and I’d let her right up until I realised that I didn’t want to avoid him when we were in the same room.

  Seeing his face, wide eyes and fraught with worry, put things into perspective. There are a lot of people who would run Linc out of town if they had the balls, and I won’t add to that. I won’t make things even more uncomfortable for him.

  “I’m not going to do anything to actively hide from him anymore. It’s crazy, right? Switching sections and avoiding Robbie’s grave at certain times?”

  Hanna nods. “A little but understandable.”

  “Well, not again. Maybe, if I don’t avoid him, other people will be more accepting,” I say, sneaking a look through the hatch at a table near the guys.

  Two men are talking in hushed tones, their heads bent together over the table, taking occasional glances at Linc and scowling.

  No one should have to deal with that when they come out to eat.

  My pulse quickens. How dare they be so openly rude. They don’t have to like Linc, they don’t even have to think that he deserves a second chance, but they shouldn’t be dicks about it. I want to rush over there and tell them to get out, but I need my job.

  Instead, I march over, my pulse hammering even faster, the closer I get, and I stop dead at their table. “Is everything okay for you?” I ask.

  One of them, the one who was doing most of the talking and head-shaking, looks up. “The food is great,” he says like there’s a hidden meaning. Like the food is good, but the atmosphere is shit because the guy involved in the accident had the audacity to show his face.

  “Let me know if I can get you anything.” I walk away because I’m about to snap my teeth from clenching my jaw so hard.

  Linc is watching me like he knows what’s going on. His mouth is parted, hands balled together. When Jack and Ian follow Linc’s gaze, I busy myself, clearing plates from a table nearby.

  Thirty minutes later, I watch Linc, Jack, and Ian leave the restaurant. My muscles slowly begin to uncoil, shoulders sagging with relief from the freedom his departure brings. I might not want to chase him away, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

  He’s gone. You can breathe.

  Hanna bursts into the kitchen behind me as I stack the plates on the side. She’s beside me in a flash, her hand on my back. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  I should just tattoo that to my forehead and be done with it.

  “Hmm, I don’t think I believe you.” She moves to my side, leans her back against the wall, and folds her arms.

  I turn my head. “Hanna, leave it, okay?”

  “I thought you were all right with him being here?”

  “I am. It depends on the day,” I admit. “I don’t like people being harsh to him, but doesn’t that make me a hypocrite? I can’t forget, Han. When I see Linc, my mind goes straight to the last time I saw Robbie, telling him he looked like he was joining a boy band in his white trousers and pale blue shirt. Then, I see my mum falling to the floor because a cop just told her that her son was involved in a serious accident.”

  She sighs, biting on her lip. “Babe, it wasn’t Linc’s fault.”

  “And I’m not going to throw anything in his face, but that doesn’t mean I can forgive and forget. I don’t want to spend time with him because it hurts too much.” I stand up straight. “I just need to get through these next few months without running into him every damn day.”

  “Of course. Look, do you want to leave early? It’s pretty quiet out there, and you only have an hour left.”

  “Actually, that sounds good. I could really use a scalding bath and a beer.”

  “Go, hon, and call me later.”

  I grab my things from the staff room opposite the kitchen and head out the back. As I walk along the alley toward the car park, I notice Linc and Jack standing by Linc’s car. They’re talking, not moving, not leaving.

  Gripping the handle of my handbag sitting over my shoulder, I press my back against the wall.

  For fuck’s sake. How long are they going to be talking? Couldn’t they go somewhere else to chat?

  I just want to go home and soak in the bath.

  What could they still have to talk about? They just spent almost an hour in the restaurant, talking.

  Come on.

  My car is parked in the corner, pretty far from where they are, but it’s unlikely I’ll get to the other end without one of them seeing me. Linc would let me pass without a word; he would silently watch me with his dark blue eyes. Jack would call me over.

  He’s the perfect fit for Hanna; they both don’t care much for boundaries.

  I bite my lip and tap my fingers on my chin, waiting for them to finish.

  Jack laughs at something Linc said, but all the moody one does is give his signature half-smile.

  How is this my life? Hiding out in an alleyway to avoid Lincoln Reid.

  If my mum or dad came past right now, they would book me an emergency appointment with Jennifer. Mum would freak out about how I wasn’t really dealing with Linc’s return and how I needed to talk it all through in therapy even though they hadn’t been dealing with it at all.

  Right now, I’m totally okay with ignoring my issues. I’d rather get through the storm before I started rebuilding.

  My eyes roam in an effort to pass the time. I float up to the clouds and watch as they change shape in the light wind. They slowly turn from white to grey. If it were to rain right now, that would be fitting. Though, at least, it might make the gossiping tossers move it the hell on.

  I move back to the boys, and they’ve stepped away from each other, closer to their respective cars. Progress, I suppose.

  The first raindrop lands on the end of my nose. I swipe it away with my finger and huff.

  Come. On.

  Finally, they nod to each other and turn away.

  I wait until they’re in their cars. Jack drives away first, being closest to the exit. Linc follows a few seconds later. When his car disappears, I step into the street and cross the car park. The rain falls harder the second I do, of course, and I dash toward my car, lowering my head to shelter myself from the water.

  I press the unlock button on the key fob and leap into my car as the rain hammers down. God, this bath cannot come soon enough. I shove the key into the ignition and turn.

  Nothing.

  Really?

  My car is reliable; it hasn’t broken down ever, but today is clearly the obvious choice for it to refuse to start.

  Stupid piece of shit.

  Today can go to hell.

  I take a deep breath through the stinging in my eyes and the heat pumping through my veins.

  Why now? Why?

  “God!” I shout, thumping both hands down on the top of my steering wheel. “Stupid fucking everything!”

  You’re losing it. Calm down.

  With the air kicked from my lungs, I collapse back in my seat, and my arms fall onto my lap.

  I’m about to get my phone and call my dad, but someone raps on my window.

  Lincoln. He’s back.

  I open the door because the damn windows don’t work unless the engine is on, and since that’s not happening …

  “What do you want?” I ask.

  “What’s wrong with your car?”

  “How do you know there is something wrong?”

  He ducks down, practically getting in since it’s raining and he’s getting wet. “I saw you hitting your steering wheel on the way past, so I circled back.” Water runs down his hair, dripping onto the floor.

  “Get in, Linc.”

  He flashes that half-smile and runs around the back of my car to the passenger side. I slam my door and turn to him.

  “It’s not starting at all?”

  “Nope,” I mutter. “Nothing.”

  “You’re mad.”

  �
�You’re sharp.”

  Linc lowers his head, and I wince at the venom in my words. He came back to help, and I’m being a bitch to him.

  “I’m sorry; that was uncalled for. It’s just been a bad day, but I appreciate you coming back.”

  “Let me take a look at your car and see if I can fix it.”

  “Did you take a course in mechanics while you were away?”

  Smirking, he shakes his head. “No, but I’ve had many shit cars I needed to fix.”

  “Well, my car isn’t shit, so what makes you think you can fix it?”

  “Your car won’t start, and you’re claiming it’s not shit?” he quips.

  “You’re insulting my car, but it’s keeping you dry right now.”

  “It makes a good umbrella; I’ll give you that.”

  How quickly we can go from frosty to flirty.

  I fold my arms, biting back a smile. “Do you need me to help check out my car, or can you handle that alone?”

  He dips his head in a little bow and grabs the door handle. “Pop the bonnet.”

  I watch him dash to the front of my car and pull the lever near the steering wheel. He lifts the bonnet and blocks himself from sight. He’s out there, getting wet, trying to fix my car, and I’m in the dry, waiting.

  Damn it.

  I open the door and step outside. “Linc,” I say, hunching over as the rain pelts my body.

  He looks up from my engine. “Tilly, get back in the car.”

  “You’re soaked. Get back inside until it’s eased up.”

  The heavy rain forms a sheet of water, which makes it almost impossible to see, like looking through frosted glass.

  “Linc,” I say, reaching out and grabbing his arm. “Come on, get back inside.”

  He drops the bonnet. “Get your stuff. I’ll drive you home. The car can wait.”

  I’d argue with that, but he’s right. There is no point in getting soaked out here. My dad will come back with me later to sort the car.

  Linc waits out in the rain while I grab my handbag and lock my car. Then, we jog to his truck, two down from mine. I didn’t see him come back, but then I wasn’t looking.

  “Oh my God, I’m soaked through,” I say when we get into his car. “Your seat is going to get wet.”